"AHH, WALTER, GET THE BUG"
"I am TRYING, HELEN”
“cool jeans,” i tell a cute boy
little did he know that i actually talking about his genes because those chromosomes have combined beautifully ay papi
I am crying
this picture should win an oscar itself omg
my grandpa has a date tonight and hes really old and in a wheelchair and has to drag around this breathing machine but hes just sitting there waiting for the hospice shuttle to take him to pick up his date and he looks suPER EXCITED and its the cutest thing ive ever seen
update he came home and i asked him how it went and he said, “i should have taken an extra tank of oxygen because she took my BREATH AWAY”
THATS SO CUTE SEND HELP
*gets insulted* Nah I don’t care, my mom has said worse to me
shut up mom! my acapella dubstep group WILL take off and you’ll be sorry for ever calling it stupid!
me participating in a group project
WHY AM I LAUGHING SO HARD
remember when lil wayne said “real g’s move in silence like lasagna”
that shit fucked me up
and then i realized the “g” in “lasagna” is silent
i was like “damn……”
that man never got the deserved credit for that genius line.
u know what the worst thing about being a girl is… is when another girl asks u for a hair tie, but its ur last one, but u can’t say u don’t have one because she knows its on ur wrist, so u give it to her, and then she says “oh i’ll give it back!” knowing damn well she won’t, and u sit there sad because now you have to go buy another pack of hair ties that u know ur gonna lose by the end of the month
My mom just made a joke about running people over in her car.