This was seriously the best prank
And God said unto Abraham, “Abraham.”
And Abraham replied, “What.”
God said to John, “Come forth and receive eternal life.” But John came fifth and won a toaster.
And Judas approached the rabbis and Pharisees saying, “The one whom I kiss is the one you seek.”
To which they responded, “Gay.”
And thus, god made Eve. And she was bammin’ slammin’ bootylicious.
see you all in hell
cowboys don’t roll joints, they tumble weed
ma’am im sorry but that baby was due today, i don’t care if its not done just turn in what you have
literally buy me a cat and i will seriously do anything you ask me to
this website is so fucked up
what if the coins you find randomly at the bottom of drawers and in between couch cushions are actually from spiders trying to pay rent
once i had a dream that my cat was working at mcdonalds w/ me and she had a lil uniform and she kept getting fur in the fries and everyone was yelling at me and saying “ur cat sucks on fries” and i was like “shes just a cat give her a break!” and i woke up crying
The juniors today got letters from first graders because their prom is Friday telling them not to drink and drive and stuff and this one guy in my AP Bio class got one that said “dont do cokine intil your 21”